Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
