tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
