No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
