If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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