fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
