yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
