She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
