did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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