no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
