id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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