bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
