I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
