the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i will never coherently bang her
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
