she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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