Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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