so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
