and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
