why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
