Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
