is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize