We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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