Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
