she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
