Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
