If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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