tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
