it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
this will be a night to untag.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
