im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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