I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
