But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
