Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
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My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
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Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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