I want to stick my p in your. b.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
