do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
No subtext here. People are naked.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
