I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
