Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
