i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
