the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
