I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
