you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
