yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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