I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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