Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
