Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
