well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
