I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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