last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
