Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
