He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
