why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
