I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
