Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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