Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
