just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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