I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
i out mim tonsoeep
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
