Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
