We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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