you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
