he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
