I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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