You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
