So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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