Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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