before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
